Coping With Self-Doubt

The truth is that I’m still lacking courage in lots of areas of my life.

In fact, I’m quite certain that finding courage will be the kind of personal work that will never end. And I’m pretty sure it’ll be the same for you.

In working with others and discovering my own challenges, it becomes really clear that FEAR is at the root of most of our blocks. By blocks, I mean the reasons, excuses, and obstacles that stand in the way of what we desire most for our lives, relationships, careers, and passions.

I’ll use The Courage Collective as an example…

I keep getting to a point when working with clients and developing content to share, where I think “Ya, I’ve got this. I feel like I’ve mastered the worry and self-doubt.” Then, without fail, a new opportunity comes along or I have a lull in business and I automatically slip back into questioning myself and thinking in a fearful way about my present and future.

I ask myself if I’m doing the right thing, if I’m really cut out to run my own business, or if I’m actually offering value to the people I work with.

I’ve noticed that I easily slip into these negative thoughts when I let a few of my practices fall away. And this happens here and there, because well, life. And that’s okay. But it’s been cool to see how I can get myself back to a more confident mindset and recognize that my negative thoughts are not true, but rather created by me.

It’s also good to feel more control over my fear when I practice these little things each day. They are both good for coping with, but also preventing a lack of courage.

Some of the practices that have helped me are:

Gratitude — I like to bring focus back to what I have (because truly, I’m so fortunate). Even if it’s just focussing on the clean, free water in my glass, practicing gratitude is enough to change my perspective and get out of a funk.

Exercising — when I can do something simple and single-task oriented like exercising, I give my worried mind a break and usually come back to the day with renewed optimism.

Talking to someone — I love calling one of my best friends, talking to my sister, or my partner to just say what I’m thinking out loud. They’re usually there to remind me that those thoughts aren’t reality and they remind me of all the good that I’ve created.

Meditating — even if my mind goes wild during a period of silence, meditation is a chance for me to just let my mind do its thing while I observe, instead of while I freak out about it. When I intentionally sit down and listen to my thoughts, I can be curious about why I’m thinking that way and usually get to the bottom of the source of fear. Maybe I don’t solve it, but sometimes just the acknowlegdement is enough to quiet things.

Saying a mantra — I like these two mantras right now:

‘Life is but a dream”
and
“I am loved, I am safe, I am okay”

I use the first when I’m taking things way too seriously, getting worked up, and letting my emotions take me on a rollercoaster ride. It reminds me that life is fleeting, like a dream. It’s my choice to let worry swallow me up and life to escape, or to enjoy the dream and ride the wave.

I like the second mantra for when I’m afraid or worried. My old habit is to really dwell on things and come up with stories in my mind about the worst. When I focus on this basic three-part sentence, I get in touch with an important reminder of the true protection that surrounds me all the time. I like to imagine that love from those in my life creates a shield around me no matter where I am.

So, what’s one thing that you really want?

What would you have to do to get it or make it happen?

What is currently stopping you from doing those things?

Is it doubt? A negative story in your mind? The fear that you might fail?

Being courageous can be taught and practiced. You do not have to hold back, settle, or live small, just because you’re scared. WE’RE ALL SCARED.

I put all my love, tools, lessons, and strategies into an online program for you. It’s easy to use (because it’s online), you can do it at your own pace, and it’s for everyone (not just millennials).

I’m so excited about these online courses and would love to get your help in spreading the word. If it’s not the right fit for you, maybe it is for someone you care about.

You can read about the full program called Becoming Bold by clicking here. And you can see my whole list of online courses when you click here.

Thanks for reading.

B