Jack’s Birth Story
On Saturday Feb 11th, Adam and I cozied up in our living room for what felt like the 100th evening in a row to meditate together and then watch an episode of The Office — our go-to for some joy and lightheartedness. We’d been meditating together almost every day, especially as the birth of our second baby grew closer and closer. We were planning to have the baby at home and saw this ritual as a bit of training in the lead-up to the big day. At this point, I was 41 weeks and 1 day pregnant. My stress level was climbing because I was fearful of medical induction and was starting to lose faith in the process. It had been weeks since I had lovingly collected all we needed to facilitate the birth at home and I felt this sinking feeling every time I looked at the setup, thinking we were possibly going to have a different kind of birth.
For weeks, I had been feeling pre-labour come and go. Cramping throughout some nights. Sometimes enough to keep me up. Braxton Hicks that made me question if they were actually contractions. I had lightning crotch that would stop me in my tracks. I saw my midwife on the Wednesday that week and she promptly did a stretch and sweep, while also noting that I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced. So where was baby!? My patience was running thin.
But on this particular evening, as I was casually bouncing on my yoga ball, I started to feel what seemed to be regular tightening in my belly. No pain, but tightening that was coming and going often enough to catch my attention. All through the evening, these sensations stayed consistent. I didn’t mention it to Adam — mostly because I didn’t want to jinx it, but the other part of me didn’t want to put any pressure on my body. I wanted to ignore it for as long as possible and hoped that it was the beginning of something.
We went to bed and I slept. I probably woke every hour or so and could still feel that same consistent tightening, now with some mild cramping. At midnight, I got up to go to the washroom. This is when I felt a stronger contraction. I went back to our bedroom and told Adam that I thought I was in labour. I laid down, pulled up the covers and within 30 seconds I felt a pressure in my pelvis and then POP! As though the baby punctured it with a pin, my water broke and jolted my body in the coolest, movie-like way. I felt a gush of fluid and was certain. I excitedly told Adam, who sat up and said ‘let’s do this!’
I grabbed my phone to page the midwives and start timing contractions. I got into a child’s pose position in our spare room and focused on breathing and doing subtle movements to help with the discomfort. Adam made our bed up with a shower curtain and an old set of sheets. He drew a bath and lit some candles in the bathroom. My contractions were timing around 5 mins apart and so I paged the midwives. That day my midwives were being covered by a team I had never met. Senior student, Alexa, answered my call. She told me that we should wait another 30 minutes to see that this rhythm of contractions keeps up and then to call back. By now, Adam had joined me in the spare room and I asked him to take over timing for me. Within 10–15 minutes my contractions were 3 minutes apart and I could no longer talk through them. Adam needed no prompting…he paged the midwives again. They’d be coming from Belleville, so about 30 minutes away.
I told Adam that I thought I’d like to move to the tub. We somehow lucked out, and have this big jacuzzi-like tub in our 150-year-old house. Perfect for a home birth. The warm water felt soothing and Adam used the hose nozzle to spray water onto my back, which was surprisingly such a relief. It was probably around 1:30am now and I was moving through each surge or contraction by holding onto Adam’s shoulder and gripping the faucet of the tub. I was actively using two tools that I had been practicing in the lead-up to this birth — my breath and relaxing my jaw. My breathing technique was simple but can be powerful in activating the parasympathetic nervous system and inviting the body to relax. I learned this through a bit of study of Hypnobirthing. I was simply focused on expelling a longer exhale than inhale. In my first birthing experience, I released a lot of my energy by breathing ineffectively and resisting the pain of each contraction, which is totally understandable because it is obviously very painful. But this time, I tried to focus my energy more inwards, to breathe through each surge with intention, and lean into the pain as a means to get to the end. I was focused on each surge getting me closer to meeting my baby. The neat thing about relaxing your jaw during labour is that there is a direct connection between one’s jaw and pelvic floor. I did my best to keep my jaw loose and avoid clenching, so that my pelvic floor would work with labour, instead of against it. Adam was reminding me to breathe throughout this entire process and telling me that I could conquer each surge.
As time sped along, I was barely getting a break between surges. I knew that I was very close to pushing because of the frequency of pain, but also because of a strong urge to leave my body and the sudden thought that I couldn’t handle it any longer. Both are indications of ‘transition’ when a birthing person is almost ready to push. I looked at Adam — feeling shocked by the speed of it all — and asked where the midwives were. He told me to put that out of my mind. Just focus on breathing. I told him I had to push and he reassured me that it was okay. The urge to push was undeniable…something I didn’t really experience when giving birth the first time. Within 3 or 4 pushes I could begin to feel the head crowning. On all fours in the tub, the power of gravity made the pushing process easeful and truthfully amazing. I could feel my pelvis opening and making way for the baby. It was this beautiful thing where I really felt like my body was working with my baby. It was so intuitive. There was no one there checking the baby’s heart rate, no questions or interruptions, just my body birthing and me tuning into that. And Adam was there witnessing. I heard him say, I can see the baby. His voice was sure and calm.
At that moment the bathroom door opened. The two midwives on call, Alexa and Christy, walked in with a warm hello and an enthusiastic ‘we’re pushing!’ before Adam or I said anything at all. They got down next to Adam at the tub’s edge. I breathed through each push, allowing myself to fully exhale, and visualized my baby moving down and out. This was vastly different from my first labour, in that I wasn’t inhaling and then holding my breath to push. Instead, I was allowing that flow of breath to bring my baby down. It gave me so much more control and helped me to stay in my body in a new way. Within just a few more surges, I felt the baby’s head emerge, and then the body. It was just 6 minutes after the midwives had stepped through the door and our baby was born.
Alexa placed the baby in my arms and I sat back in what was now a dry tub because in all of the excitement, Adam hadn’t had time to refill it (birth can be messy and so I’ll spare you the details). The midwives rubbed the baby’s back with a towel to encourage him to cry. Within moments he was wailing and relief and joy and still some shock filled my body. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. My water broke at midnight and here we were at 2:12am with a newborn in my arms. It wasn’t until after he started to cry that I held the baby back from my body to see that we had in fact had another little boy. Adam whooped from the corner of the washroom. ‘Baby Jack!’
We then went to the bedroom, where I continued to nurse Jack and do skin-to-skin. The midwives assessed me for any tearing. Christy was disappointed to tell me that I did have a tear that she suspected could be a 3rd degree and she wanted to be sure it was assessed and stitched up by an OB. This would mean going to the hospital in Belleville. Although it was unfortunate that we’d have to go, it was a non-emergency and it was a good call on behalf of my care team. This would ensure a healthy and functioning pelvic floor for the long term. Jack was born at 8lb6oz and had his little hand up by his cheek, which meant a wider circumference of his head. A tear like this can sound scary, but I was in no more pain than I was after having Malcolm with a 2nd degree tear and I was still on such a high from the swift and positive birthing experience, that the news of the tear didn’t feel as upsetting as it may have felt otherwise.
We took our time to bond with Jack. Our midwives chatted with us and we all processed the incredible birth and oohed and awed over sweet Jack. We decided that Adam would stay home to be there for when Malcolm woke up. Malcolm slept through this entire ordeal, by the way. His door is right across from the bathroom and he didn’t make a peep the whole time. My midwives packed up some clothes for me and Adam threw together some snacks. Everyone made sure that I had all I needed and we loaded into the ambulance. As I mentioned before, this was a non-emergency, so we didn’t race to the hospital with sirens on — it was just an easy way for us to get to the hospital. Once there, everything was seamless. The OB was incredibly kind and every nurse we encountered was awesome. My midwives stayed with me the whole time and Jack snuggled on my chest throughout everything. We watched the sun come up over the water and it was the most beautiful sunrise on what felt like one of the greatest days. I was so grateful for Christy and Alexa, who were strangers to me before that day, but then swept in and played such an incredible role in making me feel safe and supported. In retrospect, they were exactly who we needed there. The connection was effortless and loving. They matched mine and Adam’s energy so well and couldn’t have done a better job of honouring our wishes every step of the way.
Adam helped to arrange for our friend to pick me up and by 8am, we were home. Malcolm was eager and nervous to meet his baby brother. I brought Jack into the house and Malcolm timidly poked his leg and inched a little closer to him. I asked him what he thought and he said ‘good’. Each day since, he shows curiosity and kindness towards Jack, even though it’s been so hard (and continues to be) to learn how to share his parents and go through this adjustment. We’re moving through new emotions every day and taking things one step at a time. When it comes to reflecting on this birth experience, I am overcome with gratitude and pride. I’m so proud of Adam and I for the team we made and for how we were able to apply the tools we had learned in order to create more trust in childbirth and more trust in my body. I excitedly share this birth story with anyone who wants to hear it because it’s a positive one. I think it’s important to spread the positive ones far and wide in order to dispel a bit of the fear surrounding birth. To chip away at how often we pathologize a journey that is, in most cases, normal and healthy. I’m endlessly grateful for a birth like this one and for a partner like Adam who was unwavering from start to finish, nearly delivering our baby on his own and instilling confidence in me from the moment we found out I was pregnant.
Jack Sawyer Masson, born 02/12/2023
