To Jack — On your first birthday

To Jack,

My second son

My little wild one

One whole year of you

Your arrival to the world shifted me in the most wondrous way

I’ll always know you as my baby who I got to share such a magical birth with

The way we worked together, how I breathed, how joyful it all felt, despite the pain

The calmness of your dad and the awe I felt

Born in the warmth and peace of our home

Another life-altering memory etched into the walls of this old house

Learning you, and now knowing you, has been such a beautiful journey

You’ve boldly carved your presence in this family with your light and your voice, from the very first day

You have the darkest and widest eyes — the first thing people would say as they peered at you

You smile with your whole face — a light spreads from temple to temple, ear to ear

You give the warmest, chubby baby hugs — chest to chest, little arms thrown around my neck, soft head nestled next to mine

You never miss the chance to dance — any beat catching your ear and making you bob and smile

You eagerly chase your big brother around — happily slapping your hands on the floor as you crawl after him

You are charmed by Malcolm and enchanted by watching his every move, sidling up next to him, bringing him a book, reaching for his hand, rolling around on the bed together in a fit of joy

You have an uncontrollable affinity for a water glass — demanding any straw that comes into sight, enamored by the act of drinking water, even if half of it flows from your mouth, down your neck, and onto your shirt

You immediately calm in the bath — a happy little fish who could soak there for an hour, just splashing and cruising around the tub — even bold enough to stick your face under the flowing faucet

You go nuts over seeing a dog — quick to yell ‘a DA!’ when a four-legged friend makes their way to you — enthralled by a mess of fur and kisses

You know how to stand up for yourself and use your voice to make it known — throwing elbows when someone is in your way or tossing your head back with yelling and despair when you lose the opportunity to crack open the kitchen cupboard or your brother snatches your toy

You are the chunky baby of my dreams — an absolute tank with the firmest thigh rolls and round scrumptious belly, the kind of chubbiness that you can’t help but squeeze

You have taught me more patience — even when I think my cup has run dry, you show me that I have more to give — all the sleepless nights that I was fearful of, the crying at pitches I didn’t know possible, the stubborn diaper changes and demanding to be held

You have made me stronger — for all that holding has built me up physically and mentally — I can do more one-handed tasks, make meals while wearing all 25lbs of you, and prop you on my hip for much of those teething and sensitive days

You have given me a chance to mother for a second time, when I’m wiser, more seasoned

You have made Malcolm a brother and witnessed his journey into that role with us — how hard it has been at times to accept the sharing of space, attention, and things — but to see his warm love for you, his tenderness and blooming friendship

You are the warmest and sweetest little boy, Jack — how grateful this family is for you being here