Why I’ve Stopped Sharing
It’s been nearly 5 months since I’ve written a blog post, 4 months since I’ve sent a newsletter, and over a month since I’ve published a podcast episode. I’ve been silent because, honestly, I am wrestling with the point of all of this.
After taking myself off Instagram and stepping into some new personal development, it’s made me question a lot. In addition to this questioning, I had the most incredible opportunity to travel for a month at the start of the year and something about being unplugged for that long tipped me into this space of introspection that I haven’t quite found my way out of. And I’m not so sure I want to get out of it anyways. Lately, I’ve been so clear with how I spend my time and so happy with where my energy goes. I’ve been having joyful moments with my partner and so many good times and conversations with people in my life. I’ve been living a lot more in-person than behind my computer screen and I like it.
Much of the personal development that I’ve been learning has been centred around ‘A New Earth’ by Eckhart Tolle. I read the book years ago but recently revisited it in a more in-depth way (this is something Adam and I are doing together). It’s been helping me to consider the motivations of every thought I have, every word I speak, and every move I make. I’m getting better at catching my ego in action and even though I definitely slip up a lot, I feel more present and eager to live in the moment.
In noticing egoic behaviour in myself, I’ve also noticed it in others. This has prompted me to rethink my place in the ‘self-help’ world. It’s made me consider what we’re all sharing and why. Truth be told, I don’t feel aligned with much of what is out there. It doesn’t feel good or real to me to continuously document and upload my life so that others can try their hand at being more like me or embracing some practice or tip I swear by. I just don’t want to be a part of a field of work that promises people quick fixes and misleads them through perfect looking photos of a perfect looking life.
I’ve watched some pretty unbelievable things happen over social media recently. People misrepresented, petty behaviour applauded, and the avoidance of any real communication supported by the use of technology. It’s made me feel really disheartened and distrusting of the people who present themselves as leaders and guides. It has made me question my association with the people and places that uphold them. It makes me feel tired. It makes me want to leave all of this and call it a day.
It mostly makes me ask the question “ How do I want to show up in all of this?”
When I answer this honestly, I have the resounding feeling that I’m ready for something different. Right now I’m okay with stepping back from this and focussing in on my own living, my own growth, relationships, volunteering, body, mind, and a balance that is right for me. If after all of my reconsidering, I find a way to come back to sharing that doesn’t feel ego-driven or forced, I’ll come back. If not, please know that I’m really grateful for you reading and coming along on the journey with me.
A place to find me: firstname.lastname@example.org